I am an English teacher, so this last year I have been surprised by my many opportunities to preach. I have been preaching once a month at the little Presbyterian church for about a year and half. In the last few months, I have filled in once at the Nazarene Church in Coquille and once here in Myrtle Point.
I blame God for this. I would like to think that my preaching skills, keen exegetical insights, and pastoral wisdom were so needed that God flung the door open for all this preaching. But I am not that stupid. I know God gave me the opportunity to preach out of the depths of His mercy. He knows I need it.
It is, perhaps, a severe mercy. I have been preaching during the darkest and most trying year of my life. I preached the week Peter died. I preached at his funeral. I continue to preach despite feeling like an impostor and some days like a toxic waste dump.
Much of the grace flows while preparing my sermons. Although many preachers recycle sermons, I preach a new sermon every time. This is not a boast, just a preference and a result of having the luxury of preaching once a month. Each time I must bend my heart toward God, spend time in the Bible, and wait until something surfaces that is preachable.
And once the sermon topic appears, I live with the Scripture for at least a week, sometimes two. I first ask what it means for my life to conform to God’s Word and God’s Spirit in this area. For instance, my last sermon was on draining the swamps that fuel outbursts of anger in our lives. How can I preach about anger without looking at my own anger at the unfairness of life? How often has my sense that life is unfair become an accusation that God is unfair? Preaching God’s grace in overcoming anger was God’s tender mercy toward me and my own struggle with anger.
In the very act of speaking God’s Word, the power of His truth is released into my life. For most of my life, I have not preached, but I have often taught a Sunday School class or led a Bible study. Even speaking God’s Word in a conversation is empowering. I am not saying this release of power is automatic, I am sure two-faced hypocrites can preach and be untouched by power of God’s Word. But for those whose hearts are turned toward God, whether in devotion or desperation, speaking God’s Word releases grace and power.
For me, preaching has been life-support—a feeding tube of sorts—because I can’t swallow much else. Preaching has revealed God’s loving heart toward me—His lovingkindness everlasting.
