Few things are stranger than being on a familiar beach at a minus tide. A vast expanse of wet sand opens up where waves once crashed. It is possible to stand in places where a few hours ago the curling waves were higher than your head. Within reach are the sea stacks against which waves once exploded into showers of white light.
Fish and other creatures seldom seen near the shore find themselves pooled near the rocks or sandbars. Sea urchins, green and pink sea anemones, red and purple sea stars crowd every rock armored with black mussels and pale gooseneck barnacles. Sea caves usually underwater yawn mysteriously in dawn’s pale light.
I expect there are gravitational reasons that the lowest tides come at night or the early hours of morning. For the indigenous people who once lived here a minus tide was a feast because of the clams, mussels, and other shellfish that could me reached. The ancient shell middens up and down the coast testify to the bounty the emptiness of a minus tides offered.
A minus tide brings strange quietude . Most of the time it is the fullness of the ocean and noise of the surf that bedazzles us with light and motion. A minus tide surprises us with emptiness. On the stretches of bare sand every rock stands dark and important in the morning light. Every sea stack stands like a sentinel against the fury of the ocean now in retreat.
All this feels like my life now. There is a strange emptiness. I have retired from the classroom with all the noise of students and their dramas. The committee meetings, thankfully, are over. We have moved from Myrtle Point where we knew many people to Gardner, Kansas where we only know our family and few old friends. We attend a church where some know our name, but few know us.
Recently a friend back in Myrtle Point sent a picture of the lot where our home once stood. The hedge and trees and every trace of the house had been bulldozed and removed. Four generations of my family had lived there. It was scraped clean and new house has gone up. Gone was the place filled with so much love and heartbreak.
All Teckla’s memories of the house are also gone. We do not reminisce. The storm of dementia has scoured the beach clean. The stories I tell Teckla about our life are stories about another time and other people. There is no “Aha” moment or light of memory in her eyes. In many ways, she too is gone.
But like a minus tide on the beach, this emptiness affords a clearer view of what remains. I can now see some things that once seemed peripheral, things hidden under the surf of a full life.
For instance, I am surprised at how important Bible studies have been over the years. During my last two years of high school, I led a small Bible study at the school and later in a ramshackle coffee house on Highway 42. Nothing earthshaking happened except my decision to be unashamed of the gospel.
After getting married and beginning work on my Ph. D., my friend Daniel and I took turns leading a Bible study for graduate students at Washington State University. For a while we saw 30—40 people show up. We sang simple worship songs; one of us talked about 20 minutes about some Bible verses—no big deal. Because most of those attending were working on a Ph. D. (many in the hard sciences), I was filled with a boldness that made me unapologetic about the gospel and unintimidated by intellectual challenges to my faith.
For about 15 years I attended a men’s Bible study Thursday mornings at the Presbyterian church in Myrtle Point. We ate a quick breakfast together and then took turns reading passages from the book of the Bible we had decided to study. Actually, “study” might be too generous. We had no leader and we did no research; people made comments and asked questions. No big deal, but when I was adrift in grief over Peter’s death, this place and these men were a safe harbor. When I faced difficulties in getting ready to move, these men helped.
At the end of life, in this minus tide, the impact of small churches stands tall. I have attended some large churches with impressive pastors and programs, but it has been small churches like the ones in Myrtle Point that have shaped my character and deepened my love for God’s people. When I was in high school, Rev. Stanley—I forget her first name—pastored the United Methodist Church. She brought in a Jesus band called The Brethren which did a concert at the high school and then one at her church. Some kids got saved and she invited all the kids and the band to her house. It was there that I got baptized in Holy Spirit and into the kind of good trouble God’s Spirit brings.
Small churches have been important to me because they offer no sorting according to class, status, or education. After a week at the college with students and professors, I worshiped with high school dropouts, ex- addicts, loggers, mill workers, and the folks living on disability. They are my tribe—beloved sisters and brothers in Christ.
This minus tide has shown me the importance of kindness. I worked until I was I was seventy so I would get the maximum social security and because we were still in the middle of caring for Peter as he struggled with addiction and brittle diabetes. We were also the guardians for Peter’s son, Ari. Before these responsibilities, we cared for my mother and brother who have both died. I see now in all this loss and emptiness that my most important achievement is not what I have done, but the kindness I have shone. I was recently awakened to the joy and beauty of kindness by Ari, who is ten now. After a soccer game, when my arms were full of folding chairs, Ari often takes Teckla’s hand and gently leads her to our car. I am full of grief and joy by the tenderness in his eyes as he helps the grandmother that cared for him through such great trials.
More clearly than ever I see Jesus as our rock in the midst of all this emptiness. Teckla doesn’t recall what to do during communion, so I have been her priest. I give her the little cup and tell her, “This is blood of Christ.” And I give her the wafer and say, “This is the body of Christ.” To see her emptied of her understanding of communion is, of course, heartbreaking. But I rejoice that in all this minus tide I see Jesus loving Teckla and forever saving her. In the lowest time, Jesus is the rock within reach.
In this minus tide every act expression of love is like a precious agate uncovered by the retreating waves: a hug from my grandchildren, a call from a friend, or a conversation with my sons. Most days Teckla doesn’t remember my name or that I am her husband, but when she rests her head on my shoulder my heart overflows.
Tides change, but I suspect this minus tide will stay awhile. Perhaps until I die. I am content to let this emptiness show me new wonders. I will walk beside the retreating tide and hum the hymns I learned as a child. I will wait for the tide to change. My presence at the edge will be a prayer until, as it says in Psalm 42, “All Thy breakers and Thy waves have rolled over me.”