In his book The Problem of Pain C. S. Lewis tries to reconcile human suffering with the existence of a good, loving, and omnipotent God. Lewis addresses what causes suffering and how God uses suffering. Lewis argues that pain is God’s “megaphone to a deaf world.” For the believer, Lewis argues, pain is God’s way of calling us to self-surrender so that the likeness of Jesus can be formed in us. In our suffering, we are invited by God to daily choose God’s love and God’s way. By our choices and God’s grace, we change from glory to glory, becoming more like Jesus who suffered for us. We are prepared for His presence and His service.
I read Lewis hoping for a better theology of dementia. Teckla and I have both gone through a battle (successful it seems) with cancer and have been crushed by the death of our son, Peter. In the midst of all this, Teckla was diagnosed with dementia. She struggles daily with disorientation and memory loss.
At first glance, Lewis’s book is of little help. Dementia, after all, is painless. There is no ennobling resistance to pain by choosing daily to rejoice in God despite the nausea or aching bones and muscles. More seriously, dementia dissolves the human personality and sense of self. The very thing that suffering is meant to improve, our Christian character, slowly disappears. It is hard to see how dementia makes anyone more like Jesus, especially in the later stages.
Dementia is also hard to reconcile with all the Scripture that exhorts us to have the mind of Christ, to set our mind on things above, and to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. If God is so concerned about our minds, why would He allow a believer to sink into the mental confusion of dementia? What can possibly be redemptive about dementia?
First, all those loving a person with dementia are called to be a community of remembrance. As the memories central to their identity fade, we can intercede with our memories of who they are and what they have done. Those in loving community around the person with dementia must not see just who the person is now. Our words and actions must reflect who they have been and who God has destined them to be eternally.
More importantly we, the body of Christ, are asked to testify by word and deed that those with dementia are more than their body, more than their brain cells. They are living souls redeemed by God: children of God destined for glory. We are invited to see them “no longer after the flesh” but as God sees them. As they courageously entrust their identity to God, they remind us that our true selves are safely hidden in Christ beyond the reach of every ailment and affliction.
Although dementia usually doesn’t result in more peace and patience, it does offer a believer an opportunity to make the ultimate surrender of self to God. As memories disappear, the person with dementia must trust God to keep safe their identity. They are, perhaps, invited to do something harder and nobler than conforming their mind to Christ. They are invited to surrender their very personhood into God’s care. Believers with dementia are invited that declare that Christ is all and in all; and that in Him nothing is lost.
Dementia should make real and more precious the hope that when we see Jesus we will be made like Him. In His glory we are given back everything of eternal value. Nothing is forgotten, every act of kindness and love is remembered in Christ. All is restored and all is glory. If what God can give to us in reward and glory is a reflection to how much we have emptied ourselves in this life, then few will have a greater glory than those with dementia who continually give themselves to God.
I see glimpses of this glory as I worship with Teckla and see her lift her voice, hands, and face toward God in adoration. Although she may now struggle to find her own words to express her heart toward God, she surrenders herself and all the heartache dementia brings. Her sacrifice of praise is surely pleases God and is the purest gold we lay at the feet of Jesus.
I am certain that as Teckla gives all she is to God, God will give all He is to her—both now and eternally.
