Even before I realized it was Halloween, I had this title stuck in my head. Teckla and I have been asking God to use us in Kansas. In the past, I have found the prayer, “God, please use me,” dangerous. The last time I prayed this in Kansas all of heaven and some of hell broke loose. Teckla and I found ourselves opening our home and hearts to a multitude of spiritually hungry and needy people. As we once again pray to be used by God in Kansas, the story of the widow’ mite haunts my thoughts.
The tale of the widow is not a parable; it is a story of Jesus and his disciples watching people give their offerings to the temple treasury. When Jesus sees the widow drop in her two copper coins, he says. “Truly I say unto you, this poor widow put in more than all of them.” Jesus makes clear how different the economy of God is from the economy of this world. She gave more, Jesus says, because “she gave all.”
Each morning Teckla and I give ourselves to God. We ask God to use us, to bless us and make us a blessing to others. For most of our lives the natural place to serve has been with the Church—God’s people. Being a part of small congregations has always made finding a place to serve easy. Teckla has led Bible studies, led worship, printed bulletins, and even served as church treasurer. I have taught Sunday school, led Bible studies, and occasionally preached. The church we now attend has two services and plenty of people eager to serve, so where and how to serve God is not obvious.
And then there is the haunting of my prayers by this widow who Jesus said gave more than all the wealthy people slinging bags of gold into the offering plate. What if when I ask God to use me, I am really asking God to use me some way that feels important or significant? Is caring for Teckla and grandchildren every day being used by God? How does God regard a Saturday spent cheering for the grandchildren at their soccer game? If a couple dozen people read my blog is that being used by God? Am I living for God’s eyes or man’s eyes?
Even more seductive is the temptation to do for God only that which yields quick or visible results. I may be dead before I see the results of my prayers for my children and grandchildren. Praying doesn’t feel like being used by God, just as dropping two mites didn’t make the widow feel like she had given more than all the others. This widow that haunts my prayers gently asks, “Mark, do you really want to be used by God, or do you want others to see you being used by God?”
The widow who Jesus saw asks us, “Is it enough that God sees?” I look around and see many at my age caring for parents or grandchildren. In hidden places and with little recognition, they serve God daily. Some are caring for a spouse struggling with sickness or memory loss. Others care for those who do not respond or return their love. All these live on the economy of God, hoping only for the riches of heaven.
This story of the widow’s offering may not seem scary. But it is terrifying if you are committed to living God’s Word—not just studying it. The widow gave all she had to God—trusted her care completely into His hands. This widow haunts all our compromises and pragmatism. She comes in our dreams and invites us to the live a life poured out for Jesus. She challenges us to give all even if no one ever sees our gift
