One of the best things in my life is that my boys still talk to me. Some share more than others, but most share more than I ever shared with my parents. I always had a great relationship with my parents, but just didn’t communicate much. My boys call and share the stuff that has gone wrong or the things that are hard. But occasionally the news is good—a promotion or job well-done or hope peeking over the horizon.
And this how I know I love them: what makes them a little happy, makes me a lot happy. I enter into their joy. A couple years ago Dallas won a hard fought grappling match down in Redding. He had this huge and absolutely beautiful smile. That smile is pure gold in my memories. Once Claude won both the 100 and 200 at the county track meet and was named best runner of the meet. He jumped around like a little kid, but my heart jumped higher. Grandma is as bad as me about Dylan who she saw catch the winning touchdown pass in a game against North Bend. She tells the story to complete strangers. And with joy I remember Peter getting crazy on the piano at a recital where he performed his own jazz composition.
In the movie Hook, Peter Pan, played by Robin Williams, regains his ability to fly by finding his happy thought. He then realizes that his kids are his happy thought. For me too. It is not a case of me living vicariously through my children—I have a life and it is a good one. It’s just what love does. We weep with those who weep, and rejoice with those who rejoice.
The openness that allows our children to break our hearts is what allows their successes to bless our hearts. If we shut out the hurt, we shut out the joy.
Yes, I know the answer to every question in Sunday school is “Jesus”, so to be super-spiritual I should have said that Jesus is my happy thought. But I am keeping company with Paul who told believers in Thessalonica, “. . .in all our distress and affliction we were comforted about you, through your faith; for now we really live, if you stand firm in the Lord.” Like Paul, every move my kids make toward God breathes life into me and I really live when they stand firm.
And of course, this is how we know whether we love God: Do the things that make God happy, make us happy? Do we enter into His joy?
