“My anger protected me only for a short time: anger wearies itself out and truth comes in.” (C. S. Lewis, Till We Have Faces)
These words of Queen Orual perfectly express the way in which anger is often a refuge from the truth. Sometimes we are angry because God (or life) has disappointed us. Perhaps our dreams have not come true or our goals have not been reached. Maybe a deferred hope has embittered our heart. The young often discover that life is harder than they expected: jobs are hard to come by and relationships difficult to maintain. Some become openly angry at God and judge him as faithless or non-existent. Others maintain a religiosity but are sour and joyless Christians unaware that their anger at life is really anger at God.
But as Lewis suggests, staying angry is exhausting. We must constantly find new slights to resent and new reasons to despair. The fire must be stoked and fed. But anger eats at the soul and eventually weariness erodes our defenses. Then truth comes in.
One truth that comes is that much of the anger we have directed outward is really anger at ourselves. Often we are disappointed in ourselves—not God or even life. This is a good news/bad news scenario. The bad news is that we are the problem, and wherever we go—there we are. This means no success or achievement will cure our anger; no lucky break will fix things. But the good news is that in God and through Christ we can be changed. Sins can be washed away and God can make us new creatures through faith in his son Jesus.
Another truth that comes in is that much of what makes us angry is simply the bitter harvest of what we have sown. My pastor often said that many of have sown wild oats and prayed for crop failure. Some Christians who wonder why God seems so distant are slow to consider that their failure to pray and study God’s Word could be the reason. It is easy to hide from the truth in our anger. God is faithful. Me? Not so much.
When we and our anger are exhausted, we must also beware the greatest enemy of anger: thanksgiving. The truth that we are richly blessed and deeply loved by God ruthlessly extinguishes the fires of anger. Even when facing the worst of situations, imprisonment, death, or suffering, we have reason to rejoice in our salvation from sin, our fellowship with God, and the sure promise of eternal life through Christ.
I suppose some manage to die angry. In which case, the truth will come as judgment rather than liberation. It is better to just give up the anger and let the truth wash in. Better sooner than later. Better to repent than to stay up late and get up early to keep the fires burning. Before we have burnt our relationships and our years on the altar of anger, better to let the truth come in.
